There’s a certain level of beauty in aging that I’ve come to appreciate. It’s the barter of life — you trade wrinkles in your skin and aches in your tendons for sagely wisdom.
As a 22 year old, I’m at a crossroads in life where people are generally distraught with this idea. Most of us have just graduated college that has been classically called “the greatest years of your life”, and are scared to move on. We don’t want to work the 9–5, exist without a safety net, and become adults.
Think about it this way — until now, our lives have been governed by others. We’ve had glimpses of autonomy, through experiences like college, and access to transportation instruments like vehicles. But these are all finitely time-bound. Graduation is the first time where this bounded time-space becomes infinite.
And thus, it makes sense why we're all so vehemently afraid of the day we put on our caps and gowns. As soon as we drive down Emmett Street for the last time (the primary road at the University of Virginia), we become astronauts in centrifugal limbo, drifting aimlessly in the macro chasm of space that never ends.
Friedrich Nietzsche was a German philosopher who espoused the idea of amor fati—a love for one's fate. It describes an attitude of humanity that says that all vibrations of life are necessary. Acceptance of one's fate, might initially be daunting, but will propel you forward. If we accept that vastness of uncertainty in our near future, it becomes an opportunity. This is how I view graduation.
People need to understand that once you graduate, your time expands. Graduation day isn't the end of the world, but the beginning of you. You have a quasi-unlimited amount of time to figure out what you want to do, which can be done at your own pace.
Life after graduation is about learning to live for yourself, and figuring out what makes you happiest. Sure you might be partying less, or you might see your closest friends for shorter periods of time, but this is a part of becoming independent. As a young adult, our behavior tends to bias towards activities that gives us external enjoyment —joy from friends, alcohol, and social interactions. If we compare these to hobbies of an average adult, the differences become evident.
Activities like reading a novel, spending a Friday night playing board games, or going to wineries have one factor in common. They all bring sustained development. Rather than bringing fleeting moments of excitement, they cultivate deeper joys. Whether that be new skills, knowledge, or relationships, these activities contribute to a sense of fulfillment greater than what is realized in that moment.
That's the key to this. These unrealized gains add up over time, and in aggregate, you become a happier more fulfilled being. It's these appreciations for deeper pleasures that I'm excited to ruminate upon.
At face value, it is understandable that the transition from a flexible class schedule to the rigidity of work is frightening. The traditional 8 hour work day, seems like an endless pathway to nothingness (brutal way of putting it). But what helps me process this is to reframe the issue in terms of contribution. Whether we like it or not, our contribution to society thus far, is roughly zero. This changes when we graduate— it marks the beginning of time where we can finally make contributions to the collective memory of humanity.
At birth, our parents started our journey by setting the course of our spaceship. They strapped us in, loaded it with jet-fuel, and pointed our nose at the stars. Through this time, our degrees of freedom have been limited—only able to flail our hands and fidget in our seats. The journey through the stratosphere has been tumultuous, consisting of post-exam breakdowns and rejection filled experiences. But even through this hardship, unfortunately, our contribution to society has been marginal at best.
It's our time to finally change that. As we break out of the gravitational forces of our earth, we're set free. We're able to climb out of the harness our parents put us in and take over flight control. Our surroundings are serene like the beautiful abyss of space; with fluttering stars, distant galaxies, and the sun's rays dancing off our visor. Everything is different.
The endlessly competitive games of kickball in 4th grade, the seemingly impossible trigonometry tests in 7th grade, and somber music playing at the end of 12th grade homecoming, all coalesced to form our abilities. As we head out of our classrooms in lockstep, it's time to forget the fleeting joys of our youth, and embrace the enigma of what lies ahead.
Great article!
> As a young adult, our behavior tends to bias towards activities that gives us external enjoyment —joy from friends, alcohol, and social interactions. If we compare these to hobbies of an average adult, the differences become evident.
> Activities like reading a novel, spending a Friday night playing board games, or going to wineries have one factor in common. They all bring sustained development. Rather than bringing fleeting moments of excitement, they cultivate deeper joys.
But this delineation confuses me - are you contrasting social vs solo activities? If so, is the board game single player or something? And are social activities not cultivating of "deeper joys"?